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Maxflight

 

An exercise in writing headlines like a drunk, rich and arrogant man on cocaine

(I had to look up how cocaine make people act...yeah I'm one of those drugless people)

 
Please note that the views represented in these headlines in no way reflect the company's views. This was simply a fun exercise to practice headlines.

Take 1:

Before the instruction to write like a drunk, rich and arrogant man on cocaine.

 

  • Private jets for everyday use

  • Just your everyday private jet

  • Your everyday private jet

  • The affordable private jet

  • The only airline that truly caters to you

  • More than an airplane

  • Experience travel like never before

  • Experience aviation

  • Aviation Expertise

  • A true aviation experience

  • An unforgettable aviation experience

  • Experience aviation expertise at its finest

  • Catering to your every need

  • We cater to you

  • Where you matter

  • With us, you matter

  • The people’s airline

  • Maxflight-where people matter

  • What’s a plane without its passengers

  • What’s in a plane?

  • What’s on your plane?

  • Know the go

  • No more awkward touching of thighs

  • No more squeezing into middle seats

  • All the elbow room you could ever want

  • Chair in your face? You should have flown Maxflight

  • Is that man drooling on you? Should have flown Maxflight

  • Avoid regret, choose Maxflight first

  • Your first choice for a charter plane

  • Go Maxflight

  • Into the sky and beyond

  • Fly beyond the horizons

  • Widen your horizons

  • Wider horizons await

  • Get/Gain wider horizons

  • Develop/Find wider horizons

  • Fly to the sky

  • Fly the sky

  • No need to blame the smell on the flight attendant

  • Never feel smushed again

  • Baggage claim is history

  • Why fly any other way?

  • At 30,000 feet, your problems will disappear

  • Leave your problems 30,000 feet behind

  • We find that most people still care about leg room at 30,000 feet

  • We don’t just fly-we soar

  • Highest possible safety, lowest possible cost

  • Charter on demand

  • Everything should be on demand

  • Everything else is on demand, why not planes?

  • We may be planes, but we aren’t plain

  • Planes don’t have to be plain

  • Planes shouldn’t be plain

  • Our planes are far from plain

  • Your personal aviation advocate

  • Maxflight: where experience meets expertise

  • An airplane shouldn’t feel like a city bus

  • Get more than a bag of peanuts/pretzels

  • We still have pillows and blankets

  • A full service charter experience

  • Plane, cab, hotel or dinner-Maxflight does it all

  • Maxflight your vacation

  • Maximize your vacation organization with Maxflight

  • Maximize your vacation with Maxflight

  • Get the max out of your vacation

  • Get Max

  • Book a flight and a hotel with Maxflight

  • Book it

  • Book it to the max

  • Book Maxflight

  • Stop searching and start booking

  • At 30,000 feet your troubles will be miles away

  • There’s no such thing as an unhappy traveler

  • Happy traveling!

  • Stress-free traveling

  • Get more out of your travel experience

  • Don’t just get more, get better out of your travel experience

  • Fly at your leisure

  • Who says travel can’t be relaxing

  • The most relaxing travel experience (you’ll ever…experience)

  • When you have to fly, choose the best

  • Ohio’s favorite charter planes/airline

  • You have to be good to work somewhere named after the Wright brothers

  • The only airline with a degree in R&R

  • Aviation perfection

  • Meet aviation perfection

  • Own your very own plane

  • Fly in style

  • Fly in comfort and style

  • Fly on your own time

  • Finally an airline that fits your schedule

  • We fit into your schedule, not the other way around

  • (Get) Flights that fit

  • Treating aircrafts like true crafts

  • Charter with confidence

  • Charter once or twenty times, it’ll always be better

  • Charter with pride

  • The top choice charter

  • Your top choice charter

  • Choose to charter, not to barter

  • Charter-don’t barter

  • Control your time with a charter airline

  • Never get overbooked again

  • Avoid the unnecessary

  • Seats you can really sink your butt into

  • Feel at home no matter where you go

  • Your home above earth

  • Detach yourself from your earthly problems

  • Your home in the air

  • Your office in the air

  • Your home at 30,000 feet

  • Your home and office at 30,000 feet

  • Your home in the sky

  • Your castle in the sky

  • Maxflight-we work for you

  • Fly when you want, not when you don’t

  • Pick a plane, any plane (ok, no, you have to pick one of ours)

  • Select aviation

  • Fly on demand

  • Aviation on demand

  • Pick a pilot, pick a plane, pick a place and pack your bags!

  • Get where you want to go faster

  • Explore

  • Go forth and explore

  • Maxflight: Just go

  • Go

  • Fly

  • Fly with us

  • Getting you where you want to go

  • Kick-start your vacation

  • Jumpstart your vacation

  • Get what everyone deserved but few can get

  • You deserve this

  • You shouldn’t have to sleep on your seatback tray table

  • Stop sleeping on your seatback tray table

  • A private jet you can afford

  • You can’t not afford this

  • You can’t afford not to use us

  • Use us. We like being used

  • Vacation begins with us

  • Vacation starts with Maxflight

  • This is what flying should be

  • What vacation should be

  • Flight is our life

  • We fly our passion so you can pursue yours

  • Flying our passion so you can pursue yours

  • Passion that flies

  • Our passion lies 30,000 feet above the ground, where is yours?

  • Don’t fight the flight

  • Fight…or flight? (Fly higher with Maxflight)

  • Why fly any other way

  • Why fly with anyone else

  • Charter your way (or) Charter your way

  • Charter your own way

  • So this is what vacation feels like

  • What travel should feel like

  • Experience travel the way it was meant to be

  • The one of a kind pampering airline

  • You and 2-15 of your closest friends are in for the flight of your lives

  • Fly to the future, or to San Diego

  • I’ve always wanted a private plane

  • Your wish has finally come true

  • Admit it, you’ve always wanted a private jet.

  • Own your own plane

  • All the joy of flight without the lines

  • Skip the airport lines

  • Travel without hassle

  • All travel, no hassle

  • Never wait in line again

  • Aviation and comfort specialists

  • The clear choice for all your aviation needs

  • Convenience and innovation have finally met

  • Convenience and innovation together at last

  • Get the max out of your flight with Maxflight

  • Max out with Maxflight

  • Fly it to the max!

  • Get your fly on with Maxflight

  • Fly anywhere, anytime-literally

  • Go anywhere, anytime

  • Fly a little higher with Maxflight

  • Fly higher with Maxflight

  • The perfect start to any vacation

  • It’s not where you’re going, it’s how you get there

  • The how matters just as much as the where

  • Smaller might just be better

  • Give everyone a first class seat

  • Everyone gets the first class treatment with us

  • The easiest way to join the mile high club

  • Whether it’s Turkey or Tennessee, we can get you there

  • Yep, we can get you there

  • Getting you there with time to spare

  • You owe this to yourself

  • Take the flight of your life

  • The flight of your life begins now

  • Join us for the flight of your life

  • The flight of your life is only a call away

  • On behalf of the Maxflight crew, we welcome you aboard

  • Welcome aboard Maxflight airlines

  • All aboard

  • Flight is our passion

  • Let us share with you our passion for flight

  • Pursuing passion comes naturally

  • I may be king of my castle, but now I’m king of the air

  • Be the king of the airways

  • Master the air

  • Who needs a yacht?

  • Apartments are overrated

    • Fancy guy lounging in his private jet made to look like a spacious apartment

  • Wheels are overratedI don’t need 4 wheels to be impressive

    • ​Guy boarding private jet leaving fancy car behind

  • See the world from your computer and your window

  • Computers are windows to the world, but real windows are even better

  • Get back to classic-windows are better than screens

  • Don’t tell me I’m too intense

  • There’s no such thing as too extravagant

  • Too much of a good thing is always better

  • Grandiose wouldn’t exist without me

  • No pets allowed.

  • Permission is overrated
    I don’t need permission
    I go where I want, when I want

    • ​Show bouncer with a huge line of people wanting to go in and our guy lets himself in

  • Some people can’t handle it

    • ​Show people passed out from the awesome shininess and our guy is halfway through taking his sunglasses off

  • I don’t follow trends, I set them
    Trends are for peasants
    Trends mean nothing until they end
    Trends are for the weak-minded
    Trends are for those who can’t afford jets

    • ​Fancy guy sets his fancy car on fire and boards a jet

  • Leg room matters

    • ​Show really tall famous people crammed in a plane and then our guy on a private jet sipping wine in a recliner

  • I am luxury
    I don’t deserve luxury, Luxury deserves me

    • ​Our guy in a recliner on the jet looking dangerously sexy with a glass of chilled wine sitting on the table sweating and begging to be drunk

  • Luxury may not exist for you
    One of the many perks of being me

    • ​Our guy tilting wine glass towards camera with arrogant smugness

  • My plane is 50 shades sexier than yours
    50 shades sexier

  • If I were driving, I couldn’t do this
    Whatever will we do with all this extra space?

    • ​Woman in shiny dress lounging on plane bench seat with wine and our guy approaching her with a blindfold

  • I get what I want

    • ​Our guy with the sexy lady and blindfold or our guy getting into the airplane “club” but no one else does

  • Obsolescence bores me.
    Obsolescence will be the end of you
    It couldn’t keep up

    • ​Our guy walking away from his fancy car (on fire) with the fire starting elements behind him as he gets on the plane. Maybe he is already on the plane and you see the scene through a window

  • Patience is a virtue I don’t possess

    • ​Torching his car or leaving people behind on the runway

  • Hit it and quit it doesn’t count for modes of transportation

  • First chance I get, I’m trading you in for a spaceship.

    • ​Our guy with car on fire out the window, talking to the plane and clearly striving to always have the best.

  • I don’t do second best
    There’s no such thing as second fiddle.
    One fiddle is annoying enough

    • ​Our guy torches his car out the window and is inspecting a line of women wanting to board the plane—each is holding an instrument (2 have fiddles so he is not letting the second on the plane while the first is clearly visible walking up the steps)

  • I’m allowed to be meticulous. I’m rich.

    • ​Our guy shopping for a jet and pointing to the slightest flaw

  • You’re blocking my sun

    • ​Our guy to the stewardess as she leans over to give him a bourbon. You see the sun shining through the window next to him.

  • Fight or Flight only applies if you can’t afford the flight.

    • ​Our guy all pampered in his fancy jet

  • Bigger is always better

    • ​Our guy getting out of his car next to a jet, which is obviously where he is bound.

  • You could say I like big things, but that would be an understatement

    • ​Our guy holding a massive glass of wine sitting in a massive chair. Outside the window is a massive, but fancy truck

Take 2:

After being told to write with more of an attitude...and like a man.

 

  • I don’t follow trends, I set them
    Trends are for peasants
    Trends mean nothing until they end
    Trends are for the weak-minded
    Trends are for those who can’t afford jets

    • ​Fancy guy sets his fancy car on fire and boards a jet

  • Leg room matters

    • ​Show really tall famous people crammed in a plane
      and then our guy on a private jet sipping wine in a recliner

    • Or show why leg room matters

  • I am luxury
    I don’t deserve luxury, Luxury deserves me

    • ​Our guy in a recliner on the jet looking dangerously sexy with a glass of chilled
      wine sitting on the table sweating and begging to be drunk

  • Patience is a virtue I don’t possess

    • ​Torching his car or leaving people behind on the runway

  • I don’t do second best
    There’s no such thing as second fiddle.
    One fiddle is annoying enough

    • ​Our guy torches his car out the window and is inspecting a line of women wanting to board the plane—each is holding an instrument (2 have fiddles so he is not letting the second on the plane while the first is clearly visible walking up the steps)

  • You’re blocking my sun

    • ​Our guy to the stewardess as she leans over to give him a bourbon. You see the sun shining through the window next to him.

  • Fight or Flight only applies if you can’t afford the flight.

    • ​Our guy all pampered in his fancy jet

  • Bigger is always better

    • ​Our guy getting out of his car next to a jet, which is obviously where he is bound.

The Best:

 

The Rest:

 

  • ​You can’t have it unless you have it.

  • If you knew you’d know.You’d know if you knew

  • You wish.
    Wish all you want, but you’ll never afford this
    As if you could afford this
    As if

    • ​Arrogant guy with wine lounging in his plane and gold all around showing he is rich

  • One wasn’t enough
    There’s no such thing as too much
    A high tolerance for luxury
    You can never have too much luxury

    • ​Our guy has 2 planes or a whole fleet of planes

  • Why? I can.
    I’m rich.
    Because I can
    Because obviously you can’t afford it

    • ​Explaining why he bought the plane…b/c he can.

  • This is how I get high
    You don’t know the meaning of the word “high”

    • ​Him all proper looking but relaxed and standing looking small next to his very own plane or maybe looking stern.

  • You know who could use one of these? Everyone. Too bad they can’t afford it

  • I love having what no one else can afford
    I love getting what no one else can get

  • Luxury already has feeling, now it has for
    Luxury in its ultimate form
    I make luxury happen
    I am luxury
    This plane would be nothing without me
    Without me, this jet is a cargo plane

    • Him stepping out and the plane starts to turn crappy

  • The old one was too small
    The next biggest thing
    If I want it, I get it. And I get it all.

  • The best deserves the best

    • ​He looks the best and has the best plane of a line of crappy ones 

  • There’s no such thing as an IOU
    Layovers are for people who use layaway

  • You don’t want to know what I do for a living
    Nothing suspicious here

    • ​Our guy w/ quizzical, sneaky and hard look (Lex Luthor in Smallville)

  • Definitely worth robbing a bank

  • Small is not in my vocabulary
    I don’t know the meaning of the word small
    Small doesn’t exist in my world
    If it’s small, it’s gone. That’s why I don’t have children
    I was never small

  • I only get bigger
    Go big or go home
    It’s big or nothing.

    • ​Our guy going down a line of modes of transportation, torching each one successfully until the plane. Roller skates, scooter, bike, jet ski, 4 wheeler, car, boat, hummer or tank, plane.

  • Way out of your league
    I’m 30,000 feet above your league

  • Peanuts? I think you mean filet mignon.

    • ​Our guy scoffing at the thought of getting so tiny of a snack on his private jet. Stewardess offers a bag of peanuts or a beautiful steak dinner on a gold platter.

  • Excuse me, you forgot my truffle butter rosette
    You forgot the truffle butter rosette
    This was supposed to be the ’81 Merlot, not the ‘82
    I asked for the ‘81 Merlot, not the ‘82

    • ​Our guy with a gorgeous and mouthwatering steak but he won’t touch it until he has every bit of fancy luxury

  • There was supposed to be a hot tub

    • ​Our guy acting as if he is disappointed with his fancy plane. You see gold and
      crystal chandeliers and beautiful leather furniture

  • Never admit you’re overcompensating
    You think you know what I’m compensating for
    It’s not overcompensation; it’s the perfect amount
    The perfect amount of compensation is hard to find
    It’s hard to pinpoint the moment compensation becomes overcompensation
    When compensation becomes overcompensation (you must be rich)

    • ​Our guy with various cars and the plane. Each is bigger and better

  • Sure, I’ll give you a ride in my private jet
    Let me show you to coach

    • ​Our guy leading people into the luggage hold area because they aren’t good
      enough to ride in the fancy part of the jet

  • Who needs a Ferrari
    I don’t need a Ferrari to prove my worth (…to prove I’m awesome/better)

    • ​The second one is ironic b/c he has a plane lol

  • He’s obviously overcompensating for something

    • ​Our guy making fun of the dude out the window with a fancy car while he sits in his insanely fancy plane

  • The real world is hard, thankfully I don’t live in it.

    • ​Our guy is in his jet watching a movie that shows people packed into an airplane like sardines while he lounges away in his recliner seat

  • This isn’t even my most expensive accessory

    • ​Our guy being smug about how rich he is. Maybe he shows some bit of jewelry, maybe we leave ‘what’s more expensive than a plane’ to the imagination

  • My life is perfect
    Perfection is hard to perfect
    Perfection, perfected

    • ​Our guy is actually impressed with the plane. He usually turns his nose up at stuff

  • If your life were as good as mine…you wouldn’t be sitting in coach
    …you wouldn’t be sleeping on your seatback tray table
    …your neighbor wouldn’t be drooling on your shoulder
    …nevermind, that’ll never happen
    …haha yeah right

  • Game over.
    I win.
    You lose
    I always win
    You think you can beat me?
    You think you can do better?

    • ​Our guy oozes smugness, doubt and arrogance

  • Close your mouth. You’re drooling.

    • ​Our guy looking fatherly but arrogant and smug sitting in the lounge chair in his airplane.

  • Congratulations, you’ve been selected to look on and be jealous
    Your jealousy only makes this sweeter
    Jealousy becomes you

    • Our guy eating something crazy sweet inside his luxurious airplane

  • Membership means I’m better than you

  • The truth? I invented fire
    The truth? I robbed the Queen of England
    The truth? I’m a smuggler of Cuban rum

    • ​He is really young and obviously did not invent whatever it is he says he did or he just obviously didn’t do what he says or maybe it seems like might actually have done one of those sketchy things.

  • Can’t you buy your own plane?

    • ​Our guy with his friend who is dressed up in hula skirt and leis and is trying to bum a ride off of our rich guy

  • I just got a bonus.
    Midlife crisis…
    It’s only a midlife crisis if you can’t afford it

  • Just because you can’t afford it…
    This stuff might not exist for you
    Become a part of my world
    Welcome to my world

  • Happy arbor day.

    • ​Use the plane like it was a gift for an obscure holiday

  • The best fresh air is up where you don’t have to share
    Sharing? Come on.

  • Yeah, it’s real.

  • I don’t care how dangerous it is, I pay you to FLY MY PLANE
    I fly when I want
    You fly when I say fly
    I fly when I say so

    • ​Plane getting ready to take off and you see a storm or lightning or tornado 

  • Driving is so yesterday (more like a lame whiney teenage girl)

  • Fly my plane
    Do you want to fly my plane?
    The cockpit is no place for a lady
    Try my cockpit on for size
    I’ve got the biggest cockpit you’ve ever seen
    My cockpit is bigger than yours
    Take a ride in my cockpit
    You call that a cockpit?
    You can’t handle my cockpit
    Can you handle my cockpit?
    Want a ride in my cockpit?

    • ​Suggestive ads with him looking sexy in the cockpit of his plane

  • We don’t call it a cockpit anymore

    • ​Have a fancy, rich and extravagant woman own the plane instead and have her in the “not-cockpit” or just sitting on the plane looking fancy

Take 3:

After the somewhat baffling instruction to write like a drunk Leonardo DeCaprio on cocaine. In my head, this Leo would have been able to buy not just a room on the Titanic, but the entire ship.

 

My cockpit

is

bigger

than

your cockpit

  • I don’t need to sit in the cockpit

  • If only my car had wings
    I settle for this only because I can’t sprout wings of my own.
    I’ll settle, but only because I can’t sprout wings.

  • You think you can do better?
    Anything you can do I can do better

    • ​Fancy guy shows a car, our fancier guy shows a plane. Maybe a third fancy guy shows a spaceship

  • A select jet for a select few.
    Do you fit the mold?

  • One less car on the roads
    Really, this is better for the environment. There’s one less car on the road

  • Not yet available to the public
    This won’t be available until...
    This will never be released to the public
    Too good for commoners
    Permanently unavailable to the public

    • ​Our guy just looking unbelievably fancy, arrogant and snooty

It's only a midlife crisis

if you can't afford it.

Jealousy becomes you.

You

think

you

can do

better?

Leg room matters.

I don't deserve luxury

luxury deserves me.

A high tolerance for luxury.

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